Autocorrect Makes Messages Entertaining

By MJ Reporter Willow LaMunyon

Medicare Jetsetters is a place for those gifted with years to find the best places to go and fun things to do. There is enough bad news elsewhere, so this is our safe and comfortable online home where you will be greeted with smiles and welcome. Unfortunately, today I feel obligated to report on one of the worst things this hi-tech world has brought into our lives. This thing has become the cockroach infestation of our lovely online home. It can no longer be ignored. We've all had to deal with the infestation called autocorrect.

Autocorrect takes the exact word we wanted to use and changes it. Sometimes I suspect the word it substitutes is just random and causes our remarks to make no sense at all. Other times it changes the meaning to the opposite of our intent. This came to my attention when I wrote a note to a friend saying that I was sorry she had hurt her wrist. Autocorrect jumped in and changed sorry to happy. I caught it and changed it back before sending it, thank goodness. I can only imagine how much I might have upset her had I not found it in time.

Below are a few examples of my battles with autocorrect and those I read on other posts that were not caught and changed in time.

I was going to tell a friend, "I read your post and appreciate it." Apparently, autocorrect didn't like the post as much as I did, so my note was changed. Autocorrect replaced read to "I dread your post and appreciate it." That one slipped by, but I had time to edit it before anyone remarked on it.

Here is one that continues to baffle me, autocorrect has something against the word "on" and will change it to" in" every time. I wrote a note talking about putting masks on children. Autocorrect in its never-ending quest to eliminate the word" on" changed it to" in," so my message talked about putting masks in children. I totally missed it until I noticed my post was getting way more remarks then it should have and a ton of laughing faces. I went back to check it out. My son remarked that his children wouldn't let anyone put masks in them. My grandchildren agreed, and my post lost the meaning I thought I had given it. The post became something much more humorous. When I saw how many people were making funny remarks about it, I decided to leave it the way it was. We all need a good laugh now and then.

A couple of lost dogs have been hanging around my house. I wrote a post trying to help them, and their humans get back together. I mentioned that one of the dogs had a collar, but autocorrect had other ideas about what the dog had, and fixed it for me. The line read one of the dogs had a cooler. If beer had been in that cooler, it might have explained why the other one stayed so close to his buddy. I never did locate the owners, but I am still trying. Lacking that, I hope to find a new family for those adorable but large puppies. I will deliver if in town or further, maybe even a lot further. They are around 40 pounds each, and I suspect they don't have their full growth.

I read a post where a person was having a bad time and said it is hunting. I gave that a doubletake and think autocorrect had been up to its pranks again. I am guessing the word typed was supposed to be humiliating. Maybe they were hunting for something that wasn't humiliating. There is no real guessing why autocorrect makes its changes.

One poor lady was so unhappy about her appearance; she was planning on looking for a surgeon for her noose. I hope she actually wrote nose since noose sounds a bit drastic.

I suspect autocorrect was the reason someone was thankful for a cooling freeze on this hot day.

A poster wrote about the dangers of Mazzio's. What does autocorrect have against Mazzio's?

A joking post spoke of letting out a stinking dart. Autocorrect had to be helping there.

Every so often, we let out steam. The original four-letter word slips into our writing but autocorrect doesn't allow cursing. Each time the poster who planned on using strong language is suddenly and unexpectedly writing about a duck!

I could go on and on about this painful mace, but I don't have the spoon to go on since I am sorry to say that I am going to visit some friends.

Thank you, MJ Reporter Willow LaMunyon for this groovy reminder that humor is everywhere.