Old Lady Wisdom
Written by MJ Reporter Willow LaMunyon
The older I get, the wiser I think I am. Others might not agree with me, but, hey, I'm the one writing this so that you can decide for yourself about my wisdom or lack thereof.
1- Sometimes, kindness needs to be tough. Parents and grandparents spoiling children by cuddling, hugging, reading, and spending time with them will help them become strong and good adults, so spoil all you can as often as you can. Give them gifts as your budget allows. As long as gifts don't substitute for
attention it won't hurt them.
The tough part comes in when your little darling becomes a bully, gets in trouble in school when it is their fault, disrespects people in authority, expects to be catered to, says I want but never thank you, etc. A child who is allowed to get away with bad behavior becomes an adult who can't cope with a world full of people who will not indulge their every whim.
2-Be truthful even about small things. People who lie to brag, entertain, or even deny something often get away with it not because people believe them but because it doesn't seem worth the effort to call them on it. The problem with being a liar comes in when they need to tell the truth, and people smile and agree just like always but don't believe them and don't act on helping them because of it.
Even if you have screwed up, even if it is at work, be honest about it. Telling your boss or customer the truth usually gets you in a lot less trouble than trying to get out of it. Most people understand screwing up since everyone screws up. On the other hand, if the boss or customer is unreasonable, do what you have to.
Another time when a lie is acceptable is when you are a young adult or late teen who has partied too much or completed a stunt that will give your parents even more gray hair. Make it sound less if your parents mention it. Most parents don't want to know everything about your young adult stories. In a few years, you will have fun telling them, and you will be past getting in trouble. This is only suitable for late teens and more.
Usually, a kind lie is unnecessary. So, your friend's new outfit is hideous, and you are expected to say something about it. Try something like this, "The confidence you show when wearing that makes you glow."
3- Smile, a pleasant look on your face attracts the best in others. I was shopping the other day when the checkout man had such a sour look on his face that I wished another lane was open. That isn't a good way to advance at work or get the trust of a stranger. Sometimes you smile because you are happy but other times, smiling is a kindness to others that cost you nothing.
4-Look around you; yes, this is a "stop and smell the roses" kind of thing. Mother nature can, indeed, lift your spirits. A restaurant that has a nice presentation of food and beautiful surroundings can make a meal out feel like a special event.
5-Comprehension. Comprehension is high on the list of making your life more pleasant. It doesn't take a genius to "get the meaning." It does take paying attention. Here is an example. Someone on Facebook posted about a rescue dog and twice mentioned they had already found a home for the dog. The remarks included several people asking if the dog had been adopted. Come on, people, you have time to read instead of scanning a few sentences. If you don't have that much time, you don't need to be on Facebook. Listen to what people have to say instead of just hearing them. Many years ago, a friend of mine started to act distant around me, even angry. I went over everything I had said and done and couldn't think of anything negative. Later, much later, she looked at another lady and said she was going to forgive me. To this day, I am curious about what she thought I did, but at
the time, I didn't want to take a chance of starting up again, so I didn't ask. If she had said something at the time, I did or said whatever offended her; she had said that she was offended and asked me to explain it many awkward times would have been avoided since we were often together. If you are wondering, our friendship resumed after that, and we became as close as we had been before the misunderstanding which brings me to another bit of advice.
6- Forgiveness should be complete. If you say you forgive, but don't forget, what you are doing is compromising, not forgiving. Be honest about it.
7- This is my last piece of advice since people can take only so much of my great wisdom. Remember your strengths and allow yourself to make them even stronger. Forgive yourself of any guilt you might hold. Completely forgive yourself. If you are sorry enough to feel guilty, you aren't going to do it again, so forget it. Don't obsess over your weakness. If you could do everything, it would just irritate others. And finally, love yourself. Be kind to others even if they haven't earned your kindness. Mind your manners because manners are
kindness. Love yourself no matter what you have or haven't done in the past. Love yourself even if you haven't accomplished everything you expected of yourself. You are worth it. Now go look in a mirror and tell your beautiful reflection that you are worth the effort to see the best of yourself.